one thing i haven't tried is disconnecting the m2 card.
What do you mean "disconnecting the m2 card"? How would you install the OS if you remove the drive? What kind of drive or drives are you working with?
It unlikely to be anything related to the fTPM. The TPM can't just encrypt a drive by itself, or cause read errors but still allow you to format the drive. Secure Boot should be irrelevant because the Ubuntu install drive is compatible with Secure Boot. If it wasn't, it wouldn't even begin to boot to Linux and give you the errors.
You say you tried multiple drives, do you mean USB drives or SSDs? The "safe delete" or Secure Erase option in the BIOS doesn't do anything except clear the self-encryption data (which makes all the actual data on the drive unreadable and unrecoverable). It does not do any kind of formatting or testing to ensure the rest of the drive is good (that's why it takes only seconds). This sounds like there is a problem with the SSD which is bad enough that it even causes problems booting from USB, likely when it's trying to enumerate disks.
Formatting and other scans of an SSD are not super reliable ways of knowing whether it's good or not because of the way they work fundamentally. You say you tried multiple ways of formatting it but if you had so many problems even booting to a USB installer I don't know how many ways you could have tried, and the first thing any installer does to the drive is going to be to try formatting it which seems to be when the failure happens.
A replacement SSD to test with would be like $20 for a cheap model, just to see what happens, but you may as well just buy a model that would be what your friend needs, and if that doesn't fix the issue then return it. You're going to spend a lot of money taking it to a repair shop otherwise, and they're just going to sell you a drive that they've marked up in price by 50% or more. I'd give 90% odds that it just needs a replacement SSD, assuming it's an M.2 drive.